Slowly Calling the Burbs Home & Bill Owens' Suburbs

It is interesting to read that it took most of the 20 years, which she lived in the suburbs, for Lahrmer to realize she was “living out someone else’s American dream.” She took her time to learn to love the suburbs and finally call it her home. She only chose to live in the suburbs because they were able to get “more space for our money here than in New York City,” but this idea was forgotten and she was able to identify with her neighbors and come to accept the fact that the suburbs are comforting. Lahrmer was noticing the little things that make the suburbs special, the events and people who she learned to identify with. People think that nothing ever happens in the suburbs, but Lahrmer learned this was not true. “Only lives – of dogs, houses and human beings – begin, take shape and even end,” in the suburbs. With this realization, Lahrmer, a resistant woman learned to call her suburb home.

Lahrmer’s conclusion and opinion about the suburbs is very different that Gates’ in “Bashing the Burbs.” Gates does see the suburbs as being beautiful, and enjoys visiting friends and family there, but he says it is “good to be there, good to get the hell out again”. It isn’t a place he wants to live, unlike Lahrmer who learned to call her suburb home. Gates will not see the suburbs as being comforting and a special place to live, while Lahrmer did. Lahrmer is able to feel and realize the community togetherness, the connection between those who live there. Gates who can’t wait to leave the suburb will never allow himself the time to realize these special aspects of the suburb.

I find my personal opinion of the suburbs as one in the middle of Lahrmer’s and Gates’. I have always lived in a suburb, Petaluma, California and therefore know nothing about how to survive in a City. The first house I lived in was in Petaluma and was located on a cul-de-sac. I knew everyone on our block, and they knew my family and friends. I enjoyed being able to play in the street and my parents knew that I was safe and always being watched by someone. Once I became a teenager and was growing up, it was hard with my now “nosey” neighbors always watching what I was doing. At this time in my life, I didn’t want to live where everyone knew me. I wanted more to do, and less people knowing what I was doing. We have since moved out of the cul-de-sac, but we still live in Petaluma. Several members of my extended family live in San Francisco. When we go to visit, I see why my parents made the choice to leave the City and have me grow up in a suburb.

I enjoyed several of Owens’ photos, but the one that appealed to me the most was #26 because this photo brings back memories for me. This photo was of a party being held on a cul-de-sac and after reading the interview with Owens, I learned that it was a party for the 4th of July. As I grew up living in a house located on a cul-de-sac, we had several parties in the street. On the 4th of July, we would have a party during the day, and at night all the families would gather together and shoot fireworks off. All the houses on our cul-de-sac had front yards with lawns and trees, and the driveways were always filled with lawn chairs and tables full of snacks. We didn’t always have to have a party to gather our neighbors together. Our families would meet and talk when we went to get our mail or as we were driving into or out of our garages. On rainy days there was always a garage door open for all us children to gather in and play. This photo reminds me of the “home” which I grew up in.

I think Lahrmer would like and appreciate Owens’ photos because they capture some aspects of what life is like living in the suburbs. Many of the photos show how a house can become a “home.” How couples grow into families who enjoy spending time with their neighbors. Lahrmer might not like the pictures that show the dirty dishes in the sink or the garbage man crossing the driveway with a garbage can on his back. Lahrmer pointed out the beauty of the suburb, with the bird that sings like a friend, and the blazes of color offered by rhododendrons and azaleas. The pictures that show families together and those of the neighbor friends together capture Lahrmer’s views of suburbs. The variety of photos Owens took show how families and friends start out and how they continue on with their lives in suburbs.

I have the feeling that Owens would like Lahrmer’s essay. Some of Owens’ photos do paint the picture of Lahrmer’s words, while others do not. I feel that Owens would appreciate reading Lahrmer’s essay but they probably would disagree on why Lahrmer only mentioned the positive aspects of living in the suburb, not the messy houses or the garbage men.