Track 2: Changing Ideas of Home

“A Christmas Memory”

I do have some of the same Christmas memories and experiences with family and friends as Truman Capote remembers. We do decorate our house both inside and out and I remember sitting at the table with my sister making our own decorations, which my mother still hangs to this day. I have memories of baking and cooking with my mother and sister, but we do this for our family Christmas dinner, not for gifts. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to see if Santa brought me every toy I asked for. Unfortunately, I was caught up in the idea that Christmas was a time of getting not giving. Since I have grown, I realize that family time is most important during the holidays than expensive gifts. My family does not give hand made gifts to each other, but I remember making gifts for my mom, dad, and grandma when I was in school. My family has cut back on the gift giving due to the expense, so maybe I can convince them to start making gifts for each other. For Christmas last year my sister and I went and took pictures of us and gave them as gifts for my mom, aunts, and grandparents. These gifts were a huge success and the pictures are hanging proudly in their homes. As many members of my family are getting older, I enjoy the time I have with them. With the recent loss of my aunt, I know Christmas 2010 will be different for me. I admit that when I was a child, I couldn’t wait to see what people bought me, but now I am glad that we are together.

I am fortunate that my parents are not divorced like Capote’s nor do I live with my relatives. Capote’s sense of home is spending time together and feeling needed. He enjoyed baking fruitcakes with his special cousin, chopping down the Christmas tree, and making ornaments for it. Although other people inhabited the house, he was not too much aware of them because they had power over him and his cousin. Capote and his cousin did so much together that they gave each other the sense of safety and stability, while being broke depressed him. They enjoyed being together and sometimes their lack of money could stand in their way, but they did not let this issue destroy the time they spent together.


“Cooking Trends”

Between the beginning of the 20th century and the beginning of the postwar period, several key factors helped reshape the way families prepared food and ate their meals. There were a greater number of women entering into the work force during World War II because the men were gone to war. These women had to balance their time between work and their family, so the time for housework and cooking needed to be decreased. With the many new kitchen appliances and processed foods being made available, the time needed to prepare and cook food was greatly decreased. Coal and wood stoves were replaced by electric or gas stoves, indoor plumbing became available, and ice boxes helped keep items cold and safe to eat. Specialized pots and pans, new kitchen utensils such as measuring cups and spoons, and items such as apple corers and mechanical beaters all helped speed up the preparation of food. Breakfasts being cooked were replaced with dry cereals, which were introduced in the 1890’s. Condensed soups and other canned goods increased in number and variety, all which helped women prepare meals quicker.

At the turn of the century, nutritionists urged Americans to scale back their eating habits. The large, heavy meals that were once prepared in the late 19th century were now being replaced with smaller, lighter meals. Nutrition became part of the education system, teaching women that this new way of cooking and eating lighter meals would benefit them. They were spending less time in the kitchen and had more time available for their families.

Between the 1950’s and the present time, many factors have further altered the way we cook and eat our food. Women were able to cut their time they spent in the kitchen by the invention of a variety of frozen foods and prepared foods. Home canning was basically given up due to the ease of buying store-bought processed foods. The use of packaged mixes and the easy recipes using frozen food, canned food, and powdered food all helped altered the way food was prepared. By the late 1950’s, husbands took up barbecuing and gave their wives a break from cooking. By the 1980’s men began to take a deeper interest in cooking and were not only barbecuing. Next came crock-pots, blenders, food processors, and juicers. These helpful gadgets all helped change the way food was cooked and then eaten. Eating out became popular with families and for those who did not have the time to sit down and eat at the restaurant, picking up the fast food and eating in their cars or taking it home to eat became an option.

My father barbecues and he is also able to cook in the kitchen. Both my parents try not to use packaged mixes or frozen food, but at times they do. I enjoy a home cooked meal and sitting down at the table eating together as a family. With my sister away at college, family meals are not quite the same. When she comes home to visit, every meal we eat together is special.

I believe that with the labor saving devices we have today can make our life better or easier if we make the right choices. Washing machines, small appliances, utensils, and vacuum cleaners are only a few of the labor saving devices that have helped make housework easier. As kitchen equipment evolved into specialty devices such as yogurt makers, fondue pots, and omelet pans housewives were now able to cook a gourmet meal in shorter time. We have gained time by using these devices but it is up to the housewife how she uses this extra time. This extra time should allow the mothers to spend time with their family, but do they. I personally know several families who eat out almost every night. They never have a family dinner and if they do sit down together, they are eating fast food by the TV. My grandparents have taught my parents that sitting at a kitchen table as a family is the best time of day. Talking and laughing together is most important. So, the labor saving devices have made the lives of many better, but there are still others who do not use this extra time spending time with their families. Busy schedules do keep families apart, but I believe spending time with your family should be a top priority.

“The Functions of Home: Dining and Hospitality”

The dining rituals among the gentry in 18th century Virginia are so important because they “revealed how these families derived (and performed) cultural meaning from this everyday social event and sustained a particular idea of home.” In the dining room everyone had an assigned place, with a head seat and the other seats assigned to signify greater or lesser social standing. Children do not sit and eat at the main table. Conversation has political and social issues, favors are being granted or returned, and recognition to those who deserve it is given. The toasts that are offered are important because they declare participation’s and commitments. The higher social classes served the finest wine and food, with the lower social classes served the best they could. As stated in Royal’s essay, “In other words, the moral code reinforces the political and social code: bad manners, unappetizing food, an insufficient supply of wine, disagreeable surroundings tell on the individual's social and political fiber.”

At my family table, some of these hospitality rituals are still practiced. When we are eating with my grandparents, my grandfather sits at the head of the table. I don’t know if he thinks of this as a social standing issue, or just because that is where he likes to sit. After my grandfather takes the head seat, the other adults sit where they like. There is no order of the seating arrangement according to our social standings. There have been dinners where the children did not sit at the main table but this was because there was no room. We do say prayers of thanks, but not toasts that declare larger participation's or commitments. Food is important to my family, and the hostess always cooks plenty to eat. I have to admit that we have had some meals where the food was not that great.

I think that prayers around the table are one ritual that has emerged. Many of my friends do give thanks before they eat, and my family does when the whole family is together for a special event such as a holiday or religious event. I know at my cousin’s wedding there was assigned seating, but this was not by social standings but arranged by who knows know.

Martha Stewart does try to portray her feeling of how the home should be, one that is perfect with everything in order. She makes sure that every item in the house or on the dinner table goes together and they must compliment each other. Everything in house is always picked up and ready if company drops in without warning. Martha’s house does not look as if it is lived in, but one that is always picture perfect. I guess she is trying to make every guest feel welcomed into her home but sometimes this organization can feel uninviting.

I think that we sometimes do try to act out “socially scripted parts” today in our hospitality rituals. For special occasions, my family not only sits at a dining room table located in a different room than the kitchen, but we do set our table differently than the dinner table we use every day. This habit or “socially scripted parts” has been passed down through the generations. I guess you can say that our decorated holiday table would pass Martha Stewart’s test.

"House Hunting"

I think I should have listened to the broadcast first before I looked at Hido’s photos for the first time. So, after viewing the photos, listening to the broadcast, I went and viewed the photos again. The interview helped me view the photos in a different way because hearing Hido’s words put me into a different frame of mind as I viewed them the second time. Hido’s soft-spoken manner calmed me down and took away the weird feeling I had. The photos were not scary any longer, but were now filled with a magical mystery. From the misty fog filled air to the glow of the TV in the windows, I was able to see the nightlife in his suburb. It is possible that some may see these images as being cold and not friendly, but I like a little mystery so they are appealing to me. I feel that Hido is portraying the idea of a home as one that changes in the night. The families go inside and interact with each other in a different way. Their lives are now private, not being seen by their neighbors. The home is now closed to the outside world. These photos were different from what I was expecting to see, but they are beautiful in their own special way.

The first difference I find between Hido’s and Owens’ photos is that Hido’s are taken in the night and are colored, while Owens’ are taken in the day and are black and white. Hido’s photos show only images of the houses in the night while Owens’ show the faces and the lives of those who live in the houses. They seem to have different views of what a home is. Hido’s statement about what he sees a home as is that of being peaceful and calm after dark, the family is together in the outside walls of the house. Owens’ statement about what he sees a home as is that of being full of life taking place outside but also on the inside of the walls of the house. Owens’ photos go along with Lahrmer’s thoughts; the people who live inside the walls make the house a home. The every day activities a family, the vacations the parties and even the smiles help create and hold the house together.

Slowly Calling the Burbs Home & Bill Owens' Suburbs

It is interesting to read that it took most of the 20 years, which she lived in the suburbs, for Lahrmer to realize she was “living out someone else’s American dream.” She took her time to learn to love the suburbs and finally call it her home. She only chose to live in the suburbs because they were able to get “more space for our money here than in New York City,” but this idea was forgotten and she was able to identify with her neighbors and come to accept the fact that the suburbs are comforting. Lahrmer was noticing the little things that make the suburbs special, the events and people who she learned to identify with. People think that nothing ever happens in the suburbs, but Lahrmer learned this was not true. “Only lives – of dogs, houses and human beings – begin, take shape and even end,” in the suburbs. With this realization, Lahrmer, a resistant woman learned to call her suburb home.

Lahrmer’s conclusion and opinion about the suburbs is very different that Gates’ in “Bashing the Burbs.” Gates does see the suburbs as being beautiful, and enjoys visiting friends and family there, but he says it is “good to be there, good to get the hell out again”. It isn’t a place he wants to live, unlike Lahrmer who learned to call her suburb home. Gates will not see the suburbs as being comforting and a special place to live, while Lahrmer did. Lahrmer is able to feel and realize the community togetherness, the connection between those who live there. Gates who can’t wait to leave the suburb will never allow himself the time to realize these special aspects of the suburb.

I find my personal opinion of the suburbs as one in the middle of Lahrmer’s and Gates’. I have always lived in a suburb, Petaluma, California and therefore know nothing about how to survive in a City. The first house I lived in was in Petaluma and was located on a cul-de-sac. I knew everyone on our block, and they knew my family and friends. I enjoyed being able to play in the street and my parents knew that I was safe and always being watched by someone. Once I became a teenager and was growing up, it was hard with my now “nosey” neighbors always watching what I was doing. At this time in my life, I didn’t want to live where everyone knew me. I wanted more to do, and less people knowing what I was doing. We have since moved out of the cul-de-sac, but we still live in Petaluma. Several members of my extended family live in San Francisco. When we go to visit, I see why my parents made the choice to leave the City and have me grow up in a suburb.

I enjoyed several of Owens’ photos, but the one that appealed to me the most was #26 because this photo brings back memories for me. This photo was of a party being held on a cul-de-sac and after reading the interview with Owens, I learned that it was a party for the 4th of July. As I grew up living in a house located on a cul-de-sac, we had several parties in the street. On the 4th of July, we would have a party during the day, and at night all the families would gather together and shoot fireworks off. All the houses on our cul-de-sac had front yards with lawns and trees, and the driveways were always filled with lawn chairs and tables full of snacks. We didn’t always have to have a party to gather our neighbors together. Our families would meet and talk when we went to get our mail or as we were driving into or out of our garages. On rainy days there was always a garage door open for all us children to gather in and play. This photo reminds me of the “home” which I grew up in.

I think Lahrmer would like and appreciate Owens’ photos because they capture some aspects of what life is like living in the suburbs. Many of the photos show how a house can become a “home.” How couples grow into families who enjoy spending time with their neighbors. Lahrmer might not like the pictures that show the dirty dishes in the sink or the garbage man crossing the driveway with a garbage can on his back. Lahrmer pointed out the beauty of the suburb, with the bird that sings like a friend, and the blazes of color offered by rhododendrons and azaleas. The pictures that show families together and those of the neighbor friends together capture Lahrmer’s views of suburbs. The variety of photos Owens took show how families and friends start out and how they continue on with their lives in suburbs.

I have the feeling that Owens would like Lahrmer’s essay. Some of Owens’ photos do paint the picture of Lahrmer’s words, while others do not. I feel that Owens would appreciate reading Lahrmer’s essay but they probably would disagree on why Lahrmer only mentioned the positive aspects of living in the suburb, not the messy houses or the garbage men.