“A Christmas Memory”
I do have some of the same Christmas memories and experiences with family and friends as Truman Capote remembers. We do decorate our house both inside and out and I remember sitting at the table with my sister making our own decorations, which my mother still hangs to this day. I have memories of baking and cooking with my mother and sister, but we do this for our family Christmas dinner, not for gifts. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to see if Santa brought me every toy I asked for. Unfortunately, I was caught up in the idea that Christmas was a time of getting not giving. Since I have grown, I realize that family time is most important during the holidays than expensive gifts. My family does not give hand made gifts to each other, but I remember making gifts for my mom, dad, and grandma when I was in school. My family has cut back on the gift giving due to the expense, so maybe I can convince them to start making gifts for each other. For Christmas last year my sister and I went and took pictures of us and gave them as gifts for my mom, aunts, and grandparents. These gifts were a huge success and the pictures are hanging proudly in their homes. As many members of my family are getting older, I enjoy the time I have with them. With the recent loss of my aunt, I know Christmas 2010 will be different for me. I admit that when I was a child, I couldn’t wait to see what people bought me, but now I am glad that we are together.
I am fortunate that my parents are not divorced like Capote’s nor do I live with my relatives. Capote’s sense of home is spending time together and feeling needed. He enjoyed baking fruitcakes with his special cousin, chopping down the Christmas tree, and making ornaments for it. Although other people inhabited the house, he was not too much aware of them because they had power over him and his cousin. Capote and his cousin did so much together that they gave each other the sense of safety and stability, while being broke depressed him. They enjoyed being together and sometimes their lack of money could stand in their way, but they did not let this issue destroy the time they spent together.
“Cooking Trends”Between the beginning of the 20th century and the beginning of the postwar period, several key factors helped reshape the way families prepared food and ate their meals. There were a greater number of women entering into the work force during World War II because the men were gone to war. These women had to balance their time between work and their family, so the time for housework and cooking needed to be decreased. With the many new kitchen appliances and processed foods being made available, the time needed to prepare and cook food was greatly decreased. Coal and wood stoves were replaced by electric or gas stoves, indoor plumbing became available, and ice boxes helped keep items cold and safe to eat. Specialized pots and pans, new kitchen utensils such as measuring cups and spoons, and items such as apple corers and mechanical beaters all helped speed up the preparation of food. Breakfasts being cooked were replaced with dry cereals, which were introduced in the 1890’s. Condensed soups and other canned goods increased in number and variety, all which helped women prepare meals quicker.
At the turn of the century, nutritionists urged Americans to scale back their eating habits. The large, heavy meals that were once prepared in the late 19th century were now being replaced with smaller, lighter meals. Nutrition became part of the education system, teaching women that this new way of cooking and eating lighter meals would benefit them. They were spending less time in the kitchen and had more time available for their families.
Between the 1950’s and the present time, many factors have further altered the way we cook and eat our food. Women were able to cut their time they spent in the kitchen by the invention of a variety of frozen foods and prepared foods. Home canning was basically given up due to the ease of buying store-bought processed foods. The use of packaged mixes and the easy recipes using frozen food, canned food, and powdered food all helped altered the way food was prepared. By the late 1950’s, husbands took up barbecuing and gave their wives a break from cooking. By the 1980’s men began to take a deeper interest in cooking and were not only barbecuing. Next came crock-pots, blenders, food processors, and juicers. These helpful gadgets all helped change the way food was cooked and then eaten. Eating out became popular with families and for those who did not have the time to sit down and eat at the restaurant, picking up the fast food and eating in their cars or taking it home to eat became an option.
My father barbecues and he is also able to cook in the kitchen. Both my parents try not to use packaged mixes or frozen food, but at times they do. I enjoy a home cooked meal and sitting down at the table eating together as a family. With my sister away at college, family meals are not quite the same. When she comes home to visit, every meal we eat together is special.
I believe that with the labor saving devices we have today can make our life better or easier if we make the right choices. Washing machines, small appliances, utensils, and vacuum cleaners are only a few of the labor saving devices that have helped make housework easier. As kitchen equipment evolved into specialty devices such as yogurt makers, fondue pots, and omelet pans housewives were now able to cook a gourmet meal in shorter time. We have gained time by using these devices but it is up to the housewife how she uses this extra time. This extra time should allow the mothers to spend time with their family, but do they. I personally know several families who eat out almost every night. They never have a family dinner and if they do sit down together, they are eating fast food by the TV. My grandparents have taught my parents that sitting at a kitchen table as a family is the best time of day. Talking and laughing together is most important. So, the labor saving devices have made the lives of many better, but there are still others who do not use this extra time spending time with their families. Busy schedules do keep families apart, but I believe spending time with your family should be a top priority.
“The Functions of Home: Dining and Hospitality”The dining rituals among the gentry in 18th century Virginia are so important because they “revealed how these families derived (and performed) cultural meaning from this everyday social event and sustained a particular idea of home.” In the dining room everyone had an assigned place, with a head seat and the other seats assigned to signify greater or lesser social standing. Children do not sit and eat at the main table. Conversation has political and social issues, favors are being granted or returned, and recognition to those who deserve it is given. The toasts that are offered are important because they declare participation’s and commitments. The higher social classes served the finest wine and food, with the lower social classes served the best they could. As stated in Royal’s essay, “In other words, the moral code reinforces the political and social code: bad manners, unappetizing food, an insufficient supply of wine, disagreeable surroundings tell on the individual's social and political fiber.”
At my family table, some of these hospitality rituals are still practiced. When we are eating with my grandparents, my grandfather sits at the head of the table. I don’t know if he thinks of this as a social standing issue, or just because that is where he likes to sit. After my grandfather takes the head seat, the other adults sit where they like. There is no order of the seating arrangement according to our social standings. There have been dinners where the children did not sit at the main table but this was because there was no room. We do say prayers of thanks, but not toasts that declare larger participation's or commitments. Food is important to my family, and the hostess always cooks plenty to eat. I have to admit that we have had some meals where the food was not that great.
I think that prayers around the table are one ritual that has emerged. Many of my friends do give thanks before they eat, and my family does when the whole family is together for a special event such as a holiday or religious event. I know at my cousin’s wedding there was assigned seating, but this was not by social standings but arranged by who knows know.
Martha Stewart does try to portray her feeling of how the home should be, one that is perfect with everything in order. She makes sure that every item in the house or on the dinner table goes together and they must compliment each other. Everything in house is always picked up and ready if company drops in without warning. Martha’s house does not look as if it is lived in, but one that is always picture perfect. I guess she is trying to make every guest feel welcomed into her home but sometimes this organization can feel uninviting.
I think that we sometimes do try to act out “socially scripted parts” today in our hospitality rituals. For special occasions, my family not only sits at a dining room table located in a different room than the kitchen, but we do set our table differently than the dinner table we use every day. This habit or “socially scripted parts” has been passed down through the generations. I guess you can say that our decorated holiday table would pass Martha Stewart’s test.
